Ides of March

March 2024

As an adoptee, I learned how to adapt to my immediate environment rather quickly, almost by instinct. Learning how to read people around me and how to act in response became a survival skill. Seldom did anyone know that I was an adoptee, so it made my task even easier. Due to the ever constant amount of trauma that was in my life until my 20’s, I became proficient in being able to handle whatever situation came my way. Chaos was my norm.

And then a shift occurred for me. It took me over 6 months to acknowledge that I no longer wanted any part of the upheavals which had become such a part of my life. I was tired of people saying how “sorry” they felt for me. I started getting angry and began separating myself emotionally and physically from any situations that even hinted at upheaval. I had become a pro at sniffing out turmoil and I used my “spidey sense” to help me learn to set boundaries for myself. My decision to engage in my own “walkabout”, to reclaim my sense of self, was the result of traveling solo around the coast of England, Scotland and then down the coast of Wales. I didn’t realize how transformative this journey, this quest was for me would be and it wasn’t until I returned back to the states, to what I referred to as my hometown, that I knew it was time to redesign my life.

That was the beginning of new chapters in my life. I was the one choosing who and what I wanted in my life and so it was that I found a soulmate and my career while also creating my own blood family.

Beware the Ides of March? Never! Being able to recognize and celebrate survival had and has become my new survival skill.

It all depends on your perception.

In health.

Abby Jacobson, Adoptee Counselor